This, in a nutshell, is why misophonia is so awful. Life is hard enough without complaining about the scents that dont try to kill me. If you were my office mate, LW, and told me youd done all of this, Id be thanking you, even if I was still being triggered. No. Ive asked her to stop, and Id like to ask you to intervene if it continues, because its becoming disruptive, and franklyat this point her continued complaints are starting to feel like harassment., (To be clear, this doesnt sound likeharassment in the legal sense that would need to be based on race, sex, religion, or another protected characteristic but its certainly harassing in the colloquial sense. At this point, it seems to me that her behavior is/is verging on (whichever seems most appropriate to you) workplace bullying, and I am concerned. Then see what Boss says, and go from there. With my coworker, it gets bad every few weeks. to accommodate an employee, but I wouldnt deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress. I also have sniffles all the time. I was thinking about this, too, but I havent gotten any promotion, raise or recognition since we started working on this project. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. Find out if your city is a top "allergy capital.". I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. In the end, he just didnt ride down with me, but in the days since then hes retold the story to all our coworkers about how I made him feel bad by saying he smells. Or, stay home until you feel better. I had wondered that as well. Also I get that OP is bending over backwards completely to try to be scent free, but honestly, even scent free soaps are not. It usually is, but theres no guarantee. Been out of college over 10 years and still cant drink it at all. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. The co-worker in this situation is absolutely going about things unprofessionally, but as someone with scent sensitivity, I can sympathize. I remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them. They feel so over-the-top as to be completely unreasonable to ask of a coworker. Remember that those with hidden agendas are . I would make sure your boss is aware of all the changes youve made and then refer Jane to HR every time she says something. Concerns are shared. She has the option to politely manage this scenario and isnt. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. Yes, I think this is a big difference too. Do you think you could calmly sit there for another 10 minutes and go into detail about what the smoke and fire will do to you?}. Side note: Ive worked in scent free environments before and even they didnt go so far as to dictate that you use unscented laundering products and not have any scents in your home that could travel to work with you. I worked in a department that she visited maybe once a week. We ended up going out to a bar that evening in a group, and as the night went on, people slowly peeled off until it was just the two of us. There is an FREE (unscented) Febreeze for fabrics. Is your nose running a marathon? Go stand in the snow for a bit and it will seem so nice and toasty in here when you come back!. Could you ask your coworker what products she uses and see if thats suitable for you? Sorry to say, sometimes the organic, all natural, Earth friendly stuff is no match for strong or stubborn smells. The coworker is the problem here. OP, Im someone who doesnt always do well with strong scents, and I think your coworker is acting like a jerk. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? I actually have a diminished sense of smell but patchouli is one scent that penetrates my nose. If OP regularly wore scents, it is possible the scent is there and she is noseblind to it. I have spent years finding a shampoo routine that doesnt make my hair look really clean, but is passable, affordable, and most importanly doesnt make me bleed. Ha ha ha! Their idea of unscented is, to me, to just kill me with a scent I cant define. And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. And people tend to become immune to the smell of their own parfume so they wear much more than they need to..which is essentially overkill and obnoxious to everyone around them. At this point I feel like it would be a bad idea to wear *any* perfume around her, patchouli or no. Im surprised at the amount of comments that are focusing solely on how to ensure you emit no fragrances. Because unless the company is paying a fortune in extra costs, carpet cleaners are awful for people who are scent reactive. ), move her desk, something. For instance, I dont notice the smell of coal tar shampoo because I grew up in a household where both parents used it, but Ive heard people complain about the smell. I am on a small anti-anxiety med now and it has made a difference. Its reasonable to ask that people not wear scents at work. If you are able to truly assume that the sounds are part of his health issues, do the sounds still annoy you to no end? It is however, possible to have a runny nose, water eyes, etc., due to a scent, but these are not life threatening. First of all, if there REALLY is a smell, even a very faint one, that shes making a big deal about it, you have shown her that you are and have dealt with it and now the matter is settled. I agree! Does that even matter though? My sniffing started about 4 years ago. OP, I think the strongest scent I wear is from my shampoo/conditioner, and theyre as close to unscented as it can get. But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. It's perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman. I believe this poster also used vinegar rinses on her hair and it was a regular thing, so the aggregate of trace smells was probably passing the tipping point. On me, personally, alcohol-based eau de parfume scents last way longer and have a lot more throw than my oils do. They want to make it seem like you are not a good fit for the job. If it were a worse reaction I might say something, but right now I dont. Being told I smell when I know I dont would make me feel a tad insane and like I couldnt trust my senses. . (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. Say this to your boss: Ever since Jane mentioned a month ago that a perfume I was wearing bothered her, Ive made a big effort to ensure Im not wearing anything scented around her. I doubt many people would exaggeratedly sniff their coworker and say ugh, Chanel No. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. My office got new carpet and my other pregnant co-worker and I had to work from home for a week because we couldnt deal with the smell. :(, He even complained once a full year! She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Other sniffle-inducers include growths and anatomical issues, such as: Chronic sinus infections. It can be very painful and isolating to have this kind of sensitivity. The only other thing I could think of is if OP is a smoker and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home. Happily it stops when I lay-down so sleeping is ok. Also it stops from time to time with out any reasonI try to analyse why but no results. It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. Since then Ive tried to find ways to compensate for it without putting it off on people around me. Youve really gone out of your way to accommodate her, and she truly cant expect (or reasonably ask) for more. Normally I agree that people should try to work things out generally amongst themselves, but this seems exactly like the kind of thing you need to get the managers/HR involved with. Fortunately, he did not continue to complain about my scented lotion. She may be grossed out for real, but the fragrance allegedly emanating from the LW isnt actually emanating, theres nothing they can do about it, and the coworker needs to lay off. Some spells last for hours, some all day and some effect me breathing as well as I am constantly sniffling. It drives me nutty but Im also contributing to the issue. Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. Ive tried to explain to my coworker that basically nothing I use is scented anymore, but she makes exaggerated sniffing noises and says things like, Oh, patchouli AGAIN? when I get near her. I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). If this coworker is so sensitive to scent that those everyday, likely-impossible-to-avoid things are enough to cause problems, then she needs accommodations beyond just asking coworkers to not wear perfume. ^^namelesscommentater said what I was thinking.^^. Use a VPN or SSH Proxy (BEST OPTION): A VPN or SSH tunnel will act as the middleman between your computer and the dubiously secure servers on the internet so that everything sent between your . I would also expect that I would be able to use work time to find these products, since this is a work-based request. *Hugs* to you. I can tell you, its really hard for me not to come across as rude. Agreed- the smell of Patchouli makes me nauseous due to being forced to smell it for 3 years straight while working part time in a health food store while in high school (Bread & Circus anyone?). She is forever grunting, snorting and huffing and puffing, not to mention wheezing and coughing. Not to mention, if the only change was the perfume you started wearing, then not wearing it anymore and cleaning all your clothes should have stopped the problem. The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. My mom taught me this trick. I dislike 99% of perfumes and am allergic to many but I dont go around making people feel like stinky people. I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? Ive done X, Y, and Z. They do have a smelllol. The reason to ask someone who doesnt live with you is that we can stop smelling things after a while, so a partner or roommate might not be able to smell it either. Best of luck OP and as an aside, I LOVE patchouli. Snarky or not, it does highlight that the problem is the co-workers to solve, not the OPs. Theyre going through chemo, they may as well have a pleasant food. Any chance it could be a shampoo/conditioner/other hair product? People cant go through life expecting to never have to encounter faint scents.. Hubby always got compliments from both people who knew what it was and those who didnt. ), so part of me wonders if shes just being nasty or if another coworker is wearing those scents and shes just assuming its OP. But not all allergies are as obvious as hay fever. But that requires A: Absolutely believing the coworker that they smell something, and convincing them you believe them and realio trulio WANT to get to the bottom of this. I developed a sniff several years ago. Scents like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes. I have this problem too. It meant Christmas shopping really sucked for her because that is such a common smell that time of year and shed get migraines walking into stores that smelled like that. It wouldnt make the way she treats the OP any more acceptable but it would at least explain whats happening. Do four things: 1. (Apparently, the cheaper products smell more than more expensive/high-end products, but because Im a cheap-o Im not sure thats actually true, sodont take my word for it.). If I were in this spot, I swear at this point I would assume shes only doing this to bother me. Its like cilantro: some people like it, but for others its a gag-a-thon. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. Either way, a physical exam can easily detect any sinus and/or allergy problem. A Critical Coworker - 5 Reasons Why Here are 5 reasons why your coworker is so critical of you: They Don't Like You Too Controlling Genuine Advice Habit Too Smart In this section we will explain why your fellow worker has that irritating habit of always poking their nose into your work and pointing out something they don't like! I turn on my fan to get it blown away from my desk. I am scent sensitive but not to all scents, and I have colleagues who are more sensitive than I but who can tolerate things I cant.). Please cut it out.). This is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the house (he has some issues). Coworker is being bratty and mean in a way that suggests she feels helpless (so, bullying but thinks she is the victim), and your suggestions were right on target for that aspect of the situation. Sadly, lots of people fall for this. I was more than willing to not wear perfume and make sure I wasnt wearing any heavily-scented products, but theres a limit. Take AAMs suggestions to speak to Manager or to take it to HR and see what kind of reaction you get. The people who sniff every 10-20 seconds, all day, every day, of their whole lives. LW has gone above and beyond in their accommodation. Conditioner is even harder to find. Well, OP seems to think they have entirely addressed the problem by stopping wearing scents and washing in unscented detergent, and so when they try to assess the situation they are incorrectly starting from a belief that they dont/cant actually smell. It adds up a lot. I really can't take it anymore. You want it to stop. It makes me wonder if theres a bigger issue going on with Coworkers opinion of OP. I also tend to use unscented deodorant and laundry detergent; I really dislike how chemical-y scented products like this tend to be. Take action to lessen the importance of your achievements or how you realized4 your accomplishments. I expected him to accommodate my scent-aversion because I lived with him! If you have a fabric covered chair for instance, the fabric might have absorbed some patchouli prior to this incident. I didnt know that about the ice cream thing! WOW! Oh, man. It was only when I went on vacation with friends and that was the only whiskey sold at the bodega near where we were staying that I managed to drink it again. often benign and usually treatable, Dr. Reisman says. Go away. Unfortunately, it made my office mate sneeze, and similarly to your coworker, he was sensitive to it. If you yell at them to run, theyll tell you youre crazy, rude, whatever. Yep. Ask them not to wear perfume to work? The supervisor just said to do it after shed gone home. Lots of white person wearing patchouli-ish smells in my city. Yet every time shes near me she complains about the fragrances she says Im wearing. I almost did a double take because I could have written this. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. And laundry care routines arent always simple either my mom has allergic reactions to many common brands of detergent, so finding a new unscented brand that doesnt make her break out in hives would be, again, a trial and error process that could get expensive fast. Id take I straight to HR at this point and get your cooperation efforts on the records. That said, I do have scented shampoo because there are like 3 on the market that are unscented, most of which I cant afford. The manager role is responsible for guiding, coaching, onboarding and exceeding targets for a team of up to 8 AMs. The only thing Id point out is that the coworker specifically mentioned patchouli when making comments about the smell, and lemon definitely does not smell like patchouli. Its entirely possible that your chair or coat have absorbed the smell, and you might not even recognize it. While a coworker may undermine you at work because of any . And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. Thats why we strongly associate smells with certain people or happenings: Christmas smells like pine, Thanksgiving smells like pumpkin pie, etc. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. This isnt coworker having a legitimate problem, this is coworker targeting OP for whatever reason. Feel free to be comfortable with that fact. My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. ;). Idk why but he always sniffs. If so youve gone above & beyond & youre under no obligation to do more. I definitely read this letter as the OP being targeted and picked on if not bullied since this coworker seems to not notice the others in the office that are also sure to be wearing scents. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. Im not altering a huge chunk of my life because someone doesnt like how I smell. You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. It's much like giving small children a new toy to play. I dont experience essential oils as lasting longer, much the opposite. I know were not supposed to criticize OPs, but come on. Never again. This woman is over the top. There is at least one in every office. But wayward snacks and toys arent the only things that can block nasal passages. 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