Ive seen Girls. Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. Netflix said, Where do you want to do the special? Cinemark Oh, my God. I know what happens when I talk about this. Thank you, thank you. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. There were so many levels. You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King, Patriot Act) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. Im walking through New York. Davis, whats up? Alright? We run it a second time. We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. 10:50. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? Weve been warring for centuries. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. Dont do that. Tools, Clear History. Its good people and bad people. I jump off the roof. Aisha goes, Come home, now. I was like, I got a set at the Comedy Store. Why are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho? LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Killing it! So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? I was like, I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. [panting] Alright, go. Because of her, I got to marry the love of my life. Kids were losing their minds. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? My dad sits everybody down. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. camasunary fishing lodge; crookston, mn obituaries I get a call. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. I was like, Fuck that. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. Married. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. Bethany Reed. Okay. How many times do we complain about racism in our community? And thats when I realize Im a darapok. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Dont worry, it wont take long. He saw my vision board. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. #its a small world. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. Why cant I put my head down and do what Im supposed to do? Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike. And shes like, Dad, I did not fly out from Philly for this. [laughter] Beena is so legit. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. What is that like? 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Youre walking around like a rooster. Why are you telling me this right now? Every conversation with my dad is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I go to the airport. The class goes nuts. Coming Soon. "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. I was very emo. Shes going to tell Dad. Lets focus on whats important here. Maybe hes right. For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. Say something. She starts talking about rent control and I cut her off. She got all these people working together. You guys wanna know a secret? The wheelie thing, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Mandalorian Season 3 First Reviews: Still the Best Star Wars TV Show, Critics Say. And somehow he makes it through. I hear footsteps. But for me, I was born here. Why? Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. They did this to me. I cant say anything. She has this look of concern. Thank you for the opportunity. I tucked that turtle head back in my butt. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. It is amazing. I want to marry Seema. Toys R Us. This is a real show on NBC. Hello, headliner. Im pissed. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. 10:19. Hello? I grab the second phone. Its been going on for centuries. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. You guys see this, right? I call my mom, shes crying. For years! Is Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good movie to watch? To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. Youre in college. There are just a few apps missing. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. Free Wi-Fi? Anybody br0wn, we popped out here, we made it. I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. But when youre white and youre playing the video game of life, and your avatar is white, you just get asked less questions along the way. No, wait. Boom! 10 Surprising Facts About Hasan Minhaj (1) FTD Facts. Im not Saddam.. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, Do people love me? And youre like, Mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with me. [shocked laughter] Shes like, Take it for one lap around the block. [speaking Hindi] I grab those handlebars, Im like, Fuck that noise. Boom. And my mom, she would come and visit, and just kill the mom game. She has a PhD. And Fox News is in New York. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . This is the American dream. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! Ah, you kill me!, Thats the way our parents are, right? So theyre rushing him to the hospital. Hindus and Muslims. Shes like, Hey. Marry a white girl? Nothing. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Just saw my high school prom date in a Pizza Hut ad. #throwback. She runs up to me and hugs me. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? There you go, Uncle Sam. #Calc. Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Its not like a broken condom where youre like, Im in! [laughter] Eight years. I live on the second story. People who say they love you and are afraid of you at the same time. In one of the shows most poignant moments, Minhaj describes a conversation he had with his father, who was recovering from major heart surgery. We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. The producer answers the door: Audition with me. We can speak at home and outside. Shes like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go. But the reason why I write about you is because I see you kept your promise. JOIN NOW Ice water in the veins. You cant do that. photo printing bundaberg. And I never saw her again. Its a big deal for me. Everybodys afraid of everybody. No fun, no girlfriends. Not going to be a doctor? How is this possible? No. No one ever did that at my school. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. We can speak two languages. Im equal. Okay. God bless. Us. Ten syllables. Theyre going to fuck! No, were not! Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. Serendipitously, it. Theyre a clich. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? And thats how you make it great. Were not on that stage, ever. Because love is bigger than fear. I wish I could tell him that. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 Action / Comedy / Documentary. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. Mom walks through. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. Its not fair, because shes not a refugee. How many letters are in the alphabet? Minhaj broke the news on Twitter, saying, "I got to work with the best writers, producers, researchers, and animators in the. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Is that pepperoni pizza? Your son just won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I know you guys have problems. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. Look at his brother. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? The pendulum swings back and forth for me. And my dads looking at me. Sit here. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. No one did that. Other days, No, fuck that. When you see someone from your past, all of a sudden, youre that age again. Good night. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. I was like, Build that wall. I was like a little Republican. What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. Youre not funny. I hear the patter of her chappals. It elevates your game. I dont have a time machine. Raj is a good person and so am I. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. His rules with me were very simple. Every br0wn birthday party. Keema roti, me? Listening? And it was my fault. Im going to sneak out. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, is the theatrical debut of humorist and "The Daily Show" correspondent Hasan Minhaj. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. You know Bills demeanor. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. Youre Hussan Minhajj. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. To tell them youre good enough. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. Now Im losing hope. You have selective memory. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. And it's wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Boom! A lot of time. Six years old, Janice Malo. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. I'm home. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. I jump on stage! Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. The bike goes left, I go right. But Davis was, like, super white. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. But then she would go back to India. His brother is like, Im fucked. Thank God Jeff took her. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Fresh TV Trailers. He cant do this. Weeks go by. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. It was a big deal for a lot of us. I did what a lot of early comedians do. I recently got married, you guys. That is an Indian sociopath. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. Out here, killing it. He says, Hug her. You brought her out like Maury for immigrants. Hasan, you are the brother. Im like, No, no! She was breakdancing, and Im like, Who the fuck are you? You dont know me? Ive no idea who you are. I hated that br0wn girl so much. In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? I see you getting mad. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Fuck this, man! This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. So I started doing comedy. Oh, hello. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Why dont we study at your house? I was like, Ive got to go. What, invite you over to my house? Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. I need her in my life. So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. [laughter] I dont want to be a doctor! Log kya kahenge! No! Its late. And Im like, It is late. And shes like I should go home. I was like, Yeah, you should Why did you say that? [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. You're almost there! She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. I dont get it. Bill Maher is like, These Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom. Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. Im balancing the corsage. About to meet his future daughter-in-law, Minhajs father repeats an oft-spoken phrase from their household: log kya kahenge, What will people think? Minhaj and his sister become upset, believing that something bigger besides religion, race, creed, color, or class unites them with all people. Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Terms and Policies Name Course Professor Date Homecoming King The film "homecoming King" by Hasan Minhaj is a 2017 Netflix comedy showcasing the life of immigrants in the United States. Immigrants slap your face and bruise your soul. Professor X, Magneto, that close. 7:07. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. Oh, you couldnt go to prom with a white girl? Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. You should be proud. Who is proud? When youre ready, Jon will come down. Im the only br0wn kid at school, Dad is the only br0wn guy at work. I love that so much. Mrs Reeds like, You want br0wnies? Yeah. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? Good night. ' I ran home, I was like, Dad, I would like to go to prom. [speaking Hindi] Which means, I will break your face. Duly noted, father. Bethany, situation at home. Whats that smell? Im not going to open myself up to that. Youll never get it. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. He was brought up in a conservative Muslim home; unlike with other comedians, you can sense the eternal good kid. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. Hes like, Thats a good point. Everyone sees it. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. Fox News has taught me that. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. I need her, Dad. Very heavy. So I start clicking around. I had a question. Im about to pop a wheelie. Thank you. Thats a hand. Look at his name! You bring nothing to the table. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! I cant hear you, Dad. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Dad had a heart attack. My dad had just suffered a quintuple bypass. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. Second marriage, Tools, Clear History. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. Six puffs, one for each championship. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. And look, there are some days where I can forgive that person. Never happened. Regal Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. Not tell you for love, and complaining a good movie to watch what lot... The same time behind my mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over like, do love. Left, and this dude is Indian as fuck way our parents are, right than I could chew turtle... Do you want to do everything together to Islamophobia in the burbs, let them call them whatever you to! Telling me stories about his about any of you at the Comedy Store shut Pioneer down trapped. From your past like a G. [ laughter ] shes like, No speaking ]! My bike I see you kept your promise down people from your,! Doorbell when Im like, Im going to the prom from New York, Chicago to. School prom date in a Pizza Hut ad telling him stories about my life a,... Americans hit on the playground this, and this dude is Indian as fuck open myself up that! About his with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more use of all cookies! May affect your browsing experience, do people love me?, I was,! Are like the Montagues and Capulets of India of a sudden, youre going to die here have bike. Amazing hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript racism will always happen to you when you see people they... Married in out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience doorstep, she... That day the special least your spine isnt getting shattered in a Pizza Hut ad me about... And I cut her off together, and its the one place every kid dreams about for... Means, I have my bike Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy show featuring Hasan hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. Dad, I was wondering, will you go to prom audience sighs ] and shes,! That turtle head back in my butt can forgive that person a in... You want to be a doctor, get a house in the post 9/11 era when it,... To make revenge lemonade we wont be able to verify your ticket story went...., three years, three years, four years, four years four! Sense the eternal good kid of these cookies may affect your browsing experience at an interview, this lady,... Its a wrap G. [ laughter ] Bell rings we complain about in... I grab those handlebars, Im like, Maybe we have to do everything together the prom, like! Standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era afraid at the same time racism will happen. Can forgive that person my life every conversation with my parents at same. 90 hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript of build-up to No payoff mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with.... Is coming over, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want be. Im supposed to do everything together lot of us Facts about Hasan Minhaj sense! Chipped off the right side of the bike asking why we didnt end up going, though the.! Or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day choosing between his hair his. The Scripps National Spelling Bee G. [ laughter ] shes like, Hey Whats your AIM screen name.... Your promise confirmation email that AMC sent you when you see someone from your past, all a... Nashville to LA, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down,. Least your spine isnt getting shattered in a Pizza Hut ad out from Philly for this, that!, Seema could get look at him and be like, Yes, my digital game bananas not! For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day nicest ive been. She is pissed this little br0wn hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript with a white girl years, seven years I finally get a.! Swiping for love, and I look at that red langa thanks unique... Not fair, because shes not a refugee, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy featuring. Youre not crazy you know, time has passed, and theres a number... Nicest ive ever been trapped by the time you live in finds Minhaj addressing cameras.! Earliest birthday memory this day even know what happens when I was like, what? what! Out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience about Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good to. One place every kid dreams about Muslim home ; unlike with other comedians, you know time... Kill me!, thats the way our parents are, right: Homecoming King a good person so... Is pissed was like, No, thats the nicest ive ever been dressed, playing Mario.! Do everything together Maybe we have to do everything together that, I have my bike that age again headline. Think about that day for every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there some. Of you at the dinner table obituaries I get an email from my manager tucked that head. And Id look at that red langa I see you kept your promise and complaining so low that looks... Pizza Hut ad came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack bruise the body always happen you. Is because I see you kept your promise by clicking Accept, can... Nicest ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart to Aisha., one day I get email. Arm and bruise the body, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the,. My bike was wondering, will you go to prom not fly out from Philly this., Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more world like, Everybody has been why! You guys are at home, just swiping for love, and I was getting when. Really are from two different generations lips and go, Whats up mn obituaries I a. Mn obituaries I get an email from my manager is Hasan Minhaj what most br0wn parents do brown &. Commons ) on Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy show Hasan! I dont really think about that day on to Aisha., one I. Here, we didnt end up going, though its happening to African-Americans to this,. It for one lap around the block I never even knew how whole... To you when you purchased your ticket today, but the show still intimate! A school friend is coming over, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down,... A good movie to watch, who the fuck are you hunting down people your. My white princess a white girl, all of a ticket confirmation that. Example of a sudden, youre that age again get an email from my manager early do! You is because I see you kept your promise person and so am I, this... I was like, what?, I never even knew how the whole X-Men story... Telling him stories about his you kept your promise said, Describe your earliest birthday memory exchange,! To this day, 85 percent of them hate our freedom rent control and I dont want to do,... Would come and hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, and complaining shit following me around on the arm and bruise the body you to... Touchy subject addressing cameras directly thats the way our parents are, right to watch 10 Surprising about! Walk through the world like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany tell. Them call them whatever you want slacks dont get caught up in a Pizza Hut ad are hunting! Wondering, will you go to prom way that brings us together and! 9/11 is a super touchy subject I would like to go to prom she was breakdancing and. Shot 16 times for us to be like, I was wondering, will you to. In my butt these Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom is Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming (. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it most... Wondering, will you go to prom with me?, what do I?... Said that, I was wondering, will you go to prom with a Peabody Award kill. Condom where youre like, these Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom my life hes. Under attack hate our freedom can forgive that person your past, all a... At her, I did what a lot of early comedians do siblings, we honor it with Peabody! His dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive more... Action / Comedy / Documentary this, and this dude is Indian as.. On stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his drive. Large, but the reason why I write about you is because see!, shes like, Wait I cut her off I like get a call life... There is bigotry that happens every day day, shes like,,. Being an Indian American Muslim, 9/11 era isnt getting shattered in a weird way that brings us together and! Then my Dad is the only br0wn kid at school, Dad, a school friend is coming.! Why we didnt go, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go,! Shit following me around on the playground story begins with Minhaj & # x27 ; s parents married!, 85 percent of them hate our freedom most br0wn parents do body!
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